Why Am I Still In Love While My Ex Is Not

January 27, 2010 by  
Filed under Relationship Breakup

Sometimes you will find yourself in a situation where you can say “While I am still in love, my ex does not feel the same way”, and that is surely a horrible situation to find yourself in. How do you go about rekindling love when your ex no longer seems to be interested in making things work? When you approach a situation where you are saying to yourself,

“I am still in love, my ex wants nothing to do with me”, it may be time for you to sit down and take something of an inventory of your relationship, not only in its current state but the last state experienced before the breakup actually occurred. Is there anything that you have the power to change or undo in order to restore better feelings between you and your ex? Now is the ideal time to figure this out for your own self.

“What do I do if while I am still in love, my ex does not want anything to do with me?”

The first thing that you need to do is to figure out why your ex is avoiding you. If tensions are still too high following the breakup, then the clear solution is to back off and give him or her some time to chill. If your ex is avoiding you for a specific reason then it may be more advantageous to figure out why. If you cannot ask your ex specifically, you may want to ask any mutual friends that you have to see if you can score some insights about the current tension and what it is that will restore your ex’s faith in you again.

Here is some practical advice:

When I realized that I was still in love, my ex still did not seem all too keen on rekindling things with me. I figured I had two different routes that I could take: I could give up on the fact that I was still in love, my ex coming out as the winner in the situation, or I could find some way to truly rekindle things, knowing that it would take work but would have much better potential results. So here’s what I did:

* First, without letting on that I was still in love, my ex and I sat down and had a conversation about what “broke down” in the relationship to create the break up in the first place.

* Then I separated myself from my ex for a while so tempers could be calmed and so I could formulate a plan for rekindling things.

* When I felt braver, I re-approached my ex and we started talking about rekindling things again. I was surer of myself and was more obvious about the fact that I was still in love, my ex responded well to my confidence and we ended up rekindling things.

What You Absolutely Must Know About Your Relationship - Test Your Compatibility And Grow Deeper In Love. For Those Dating, Married Or Even In A Long Distance Relationship. 1000 Questions For Couples By Michael Webb Relationship Expert. Read more...

Discover the secrets of attracting the opposite sex Top guide for men and women about attracting that special someone. Read more...

Free Online Dating - Signup Today in Just 30 Seconds. No Credit Card Required Click Here

Is Your Marriage in Crisis – How to Keep Hope Alive in Desperate Times

January 22, 2010 by  
Filed under Relationships

Is your marriage in crisis? Has your spouse said that the two of you have no future? Don’t give up yet. Every marriage goes through rough spots. Some relationships are even strengthened by these times. Here’s how to keep hope alive even when your marriage is in trouble.

First of all, you should know that if even one partner has hope for the relationship, the marriage in crisis can be saved. Many frustrated spouses have been known to reconsider their impulse to leave. Remember that he or she also has much invested in the relationship and will have second thoughts about leaving.

Next, realize that when a marriage is in crisis, people say extreme things. Don’t take these comments personally. In some cases, your spouse will feel guilty about asking for a divorce. When this happens, he or she may cover up their feelings of guilt by acting out in an angry manner. If you take that anger personally, you are further harming a marriage in crisis.

How you react to the situation will have a profound impact on how the marriage in crisis is resolved. Don’t badger a spouse who asks for more emotional space. Use this space to sort out your own emotions. In other words, back off, regroup, and prepare for the tough work ahead. What ever you do, don’t give in to anxiety and demand immediate answers to difficult questions.

Also, lower your expectations of your spouse during this time. Sometimes when a relationship is broken, a person becomes more critical of his or her spouse. If the housework isn’t perfect or someone gets home late from work, it’s not the end of the world. There are bigger issues to address right now.

You should allow yourself your own emotions as well. Don’t rush into decisions. Find some things which help to ground you. For instance, make sure that you work out regularly to keep your body balanced. Read, undertake individual therapy, or attend church to keep your mind and spirit in shape.

It is also a good time to expand your interests and activities. Many people who have a marriage in crisis focus in on their relationship like a laser beam. As you start enjoying your own life more, your spouse will become more interested in you.

Choose to remain positive. You can’t control what your spouse does, but you can control your reactions to him or her. When a marriage is in trouble, many people become insecure and depressed. These reactions only do a marriage in crisis more damage. Trust your ability to find a creative solution to your relationship difficulties.

Finally, you need to know that whatever the outcome, you did your best to resolve the issues at hand. Instead of playing the odds about whether the relationship will survive, do what you can to be helpful and loving to your spouse. That is how you rescue a marriage in crisis.

What You Absolutely Must Know About Your Relationship - Test Your Compatibility And Grow Deeper In Love. For Those Dating, Married Or Even In A Long Distance Relationship. 1000 Questions For Couples By Michael Webb Relationship Expert. Read more...

Discover the secrets of attracting the opposite sex Top guide for men and women about attracting that special someone. Read more...

Free Online Dating - Signup Today in Just 30 Seconds. No Credit Card Required Click Here