Meet The Parents

It is somewhat inevitable that, at some point, you will have to meet your girlfriend’s parents. Some girls prefer to get this out of the way early on in your relationship, while some prefer to leave it as long as possible. Whatever situation you find yourself in, you’re suddenly faced with meeting two people who probably are firmly convinced you’re not good enough for their little girl. Or, at least, that’s what you think.

It is easy to think that every meeting between the parents of a girl and her boyfriend is disastrous. The idea of the terrible first meeting is a staple in many sitcom writers scripts, and there has even been a full Hollywood film based on the concept. Yet the fact remains, that if every single first meeting was that bad, no relationship would ever survive – the success stories, in reality, far outnumber the horrors.

So that is perhaps the most essential aspect when it comes to ‘meeting the parents’ – stay relaxed. This may seem as impossible as an ant being able to carry ten times it’s own body weight; but that’s true, so do try and stay as calm as possible. If you’re hyper-sensitive and worried, this will create an immediate atmosphere of friction that can take hours to dissipate.

The trick is to be as outwardly calm as possible while being an extremely polite, courteous version of yourself. Basically, don’t be so nervous you scare them with your radiating tension, but don’t be so relaxed you let out a burp upon taking a pull on your beer. If a difficult situation does arise, just try not to panic. These people are human, in most cases they are not pre-determined to hate you, so even if there is an uncomfortable incident just try and deal with it naturally.

Mostly, if you remember your manners, don’t brag about how great their daughter is in bed and keep the bodily noises to a minimum, you’re probably going to be fine.

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Chat Up Lines: The Peaks and the Pitfalls

If there were ever an annual competition for the worst chat up lines, the competition would be fierce. By definition, the chat up line is a cheesy and sometimes frankly ridiculous attempt at humour, used primarily as an ice breaker. But do they ever actually work?

History would suggest that they do – after all, chat up lines continue to be used, and typically only words and actions that are successful are repeated throughout history. With a chat up line, however, the best you can probably hope for is a pity laugh at your attempt at humour which leads into real conversation. I doubt any woman, upon hearing “get your coat, you’ve pulled!”, has ever actually gone to the cloakroom in a frenzied state of anticipation.

The chat up line is predominantly used when the person using it is looking for a short-term fling, with many chat up lines tailored to suit this exactly. Lines such as “the only thing I want between our relationship is Latex!” and “screw me if I’m wrong, but you want to kiss me, don’t you?” do not, after all, hint at a desire for long-term commitment! Yet even men who do want a long term commitment resort to the concept of chat up lines from time to time, believing them to be the ultimate ice breaker.

So what are the peaks and the pitfalls of using chat up lines? Well, the peaks are few and far between. Maybe you’ll find the one woman in the world who hasn’t heard your particular favourite line before, and she’ll be flattered and amused. More likely, any woman, upon hearing a contrived chat up line, will simply walk away. The pitfalls are far more likely, so wherever possible – here’s a novel idea! – why not just start with a simple “hello”?

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