Is Your Marriage in Crisis – How to Keep Hope Alive in Desperate Times
January 22, 2010 by Auntie
Filed under Relationships
Is your marriage in crisis? Has your spouse said that the two of you have no future? Don’t give up yet. Every marriage goes through rough spots. Some relationships are even strengthened by these times. Here’s how to keep hope alive even when your marriage is in trouble.
First of all, you should know that if even one partner has hope for the relationship, the marriage in crisis can be saved. Many frustrated spouses have been known to reconsider their impulse to leave. Remember that he or she also has much invested in the relationship and will have second thoughts about leaving.
Next, realize that when a marriage is in crisis, people say extreme things. Don’t take these comments personally. In some cases, your spouse will feel guilty about asking for a divorce. When this happens, he or she may cover up their feelings of guilt by acting out in an angry manner. If you take that anger personally, you are further harming a marriage in crisis.
How you react to the situation will have a profound impact on how the marriage in crisis is resolved. Don’t badger a spouse who asks for more emotional space. Use this space to sort out your own emotions. In other words, back off, regroup, and prepare for the tough work ahead. What ever you do, don’t give in to anxiety and demand immediate answers to difficult questions.
Also, lower your expectations of your spouse during this time. Sometimes when a relationship is broken, a person becomes more critical of his or her spouse. If the housework isn’t perfect or someone gets home late from work, it’s not the end of the world. There are bigger issues to address right now.
You should allow yourself your own emotions as well. Don’t rush into decisions. Find some things which help to ground you. For instance, make sure that you work out regularly to keep your body balanced. Read, undertake individual therapy, or attend church to keep your mind and spirit in shape.
It is also a good time to expand your interests and activities. Many people who have a marriage in crisis focus in on their relationship like a laser beam. As you start enjoying your own life more, your spouse will become more interested in you.
Choose to remain positive. You can’t control what your spouse does, but you can control your reactions to him or her. When a marriage is in trouble, many people become insecure and depressed. These reactions only do a marriage in crisis more damage. Trust your ability to find a creative solution to your relationship difficulties.
Finally, you need to know that whatever the outcome, you did your best to resolve the issues at hand. Instead of playing the odds about whether the relationship will survive, do what you can to be helpful and loving to your spouse. That is how you rescue a marriage in crisis.
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You Can Kill the Anxiety of Seniors Dating
July 23, 2009 by Auntie
Filed under Dating Tips, Relationships
Unfortunately, for many seniors dating and re-entering the social scene may cause a great amount of foreboding and nervousness. Even if somebody of grown up age is able to overcome their fears and bet on starting a big gamble on starting a new relationship, the first date could be a nerve wracking experience. Age and experience have nada to do with how we feel, a senior citizen can easily experience the same nerves and worry a teenager experiences before they embark on a date or a dating relationship.
The reasons for the nervousness actually feel heavy to the individual, but in most situations those stresses are self-inflicted. Seniors dating in the modern era are under no larger real pressure than they were when they were much younger.
Regardless of your age, dating doesn’t have to start out as a serious commitment. Too frequently, seniors dating again for the first time feel the pressure of their years. They worry that if they should meet someone special with whom they’d like to form a long term relationship, the fact that they’re past the midway point in their lives makes creating a private relationship unrealistic.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. Dating is about getting to know other people, not about diving head first into a serious and lengthy relationship. Rather than permitting themselves to give into the pressures they’ve imposed on themselves, seniors dating again for the first time late in life should relax and ( just like when they were young ) consider dating a technique to first make a pal, then to develop that relationship to the following level.
Don’t forget, the people a grown up person is most certain to be compatible with are possibly folks of their own age range. That suggests, more frequently than not, that the singles in their dating field are folks who have gone thru lots of the same life experiences and have many things in common. Many could have retired after a long career.
Others could have lost a better half and be unsure about committing themselves to another person. Regardless of what most seniors have been through, when it comes to seniors dating they should trust that they have the opportunity to share terribly special moments, imperative milestones, heavy memories and life-long experiences with another person who fully understands what all of those things mean.
Yes, fear and anxiety is standard when it comes to seniors dating. But an individual of grown up age should never permit those fears to sideline them in the dating game. With no regard for age, establishing an enjoyable and fun new relationship can help revitalize one’s outlook on life. So get out there and share your experiences with someone and first off, make a new buddy. Then, if you make a decision to take your partnership to a higher level, you know that you have found somebody who understands and appreciates you for who you are.
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What you want to understand about Senior Relationships and Dating
July 18, 2009 by Auntie
Filed under Relationships
It can be the most inspiring time of your life, if you allow it to be. When it comes to senior relationships and dating, making certain you have success is as easy as making sure you do not restrict yourself. In spite of the fact that you have entered the second part of your life, you can make it the most exciting time ever, if you don’t forget to set aside the anxiousness and fear and stress and let yourself be open to a new experience.
“I used to be scared of dating after I retired,” asserts Dorothy, a former nurse who lost her hubby to cancer at age 64. “I was always worried what folk would think of me. I was married to my husband for over 40 years, so how would my family and buddies take it if I determined to tell them I was dating again. Well, I met a gentlemen who I actually hit it off with and we dated anonymously for nine months before I told anybody. As it seems, I had zero to be fearful of”.
Dorothy was worried about how folks would understand her actions. Senior relationships and dating can infrequently be negatively affected or suppressed utterly by the false impression that family or chums may not be accepting of a loving and intimate pairing with somebody new. While there are actually examples in which some people may have a negative reaction to a new partner, in most cases these stresses are absolutely self-inflicted. More frequently than not, seniors learn that family and buddies are not only accepting of but actively encourage new senior relationships and dating.
And remember that new relationships established after an acceptable period following the loss of a spouse is not a sign of disregard to the lost loved one. Little doubt that more than the rest, a loving better half would only want true happiness for their partner.
“When my other half died, I assumed that was it for me,” states John, a 68-year-old former golf pro. “I loved my wife so much that I figured I’d somebody dishonor her memory if I made a decision to date again. I thought I’d just give in on finding another woman to share my life with, or at least what was left of my life. Then, one day, I met the ideal lady and that was that”.
What John learned about senior relationships and dating is that it IS possible to love again, if you simply allow yourself to be open to the possibility. Losing a better half isn’t a dating death sentence for the surviving partner, and creating a new intimate relationship is in no way disrespectful. Instead, regardless of age, finding a partner to share your years with is a wonderfully natural and healthy and natural part of life.
“I ultimately noticed that there had been not much wrong with finding somebody new, even late in life,” added John, summing up his thoughts on senior relationships and dating. “All I had to do was to let myself accept somebody new. And when that happened for me, it changed my life for the better”.
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